Lonely in Pittsburgh

I'm a Pittsburgh Lifer. Big proponent of the city, an advocate for the Northside. I consider myself a goodwill ambassador to the out of towners. For years I've been touring people around the city, showing them favorite spots and introducing them to colorful Pittsburgh characters. I also tend to sell the area to prospective homeowners, enumerating the pros and cons of being a city dweller. For me the pros have always outweighed the cons, but recently there's just been something missing. Or someone. It is not often I meet someone I would consider spending every single day with. A few weeks ago, I met that person. In from England for a few months, he came to Banjo Club at the Elks with a friend of mine. Of course, in typical Miss Allegheny fashion, I toured him and his friend through the Northside with the able assistance of my best friend, extolling the virtues of Randyland and Troy Hill cemeteries. We spent nearly every day together after that. For some strange reason, Pittsburgh was more beautiful than ever on those days. Suddenly the skyline was more enchanting, the smell of bus exhaust intoxicating and even the homeless men on the park benches and toothless women on the buses seemed to have a special glow. For two weeks this city was the best place on earth. Unfortunately reality gave me a swift kick in the ass. He had to return to England and I had to stay here. True to form I surprised my guy with a private DUKW boat ride. But I didn't give Pittsburgh a hard sell, didn't really give him much of a tour. We just sat together and smiled. I couldn't bring myself to tell him all the great things about Pittsburgh because I knew he couldn't stay. And when he did leave the following day, Pittsburgh suddenly seemed a much darker, lonelier place. A friend recently told me Pittsburgh had been named the loneliest city. I don't know if it's true (I haven't found any information suggesting it), but it feels true. Which is why I am going to England next month. OH SNAP.

Mustache (mug) Rides, Five Cents

Mustaches. They are enchanting things. A well groomed mustache is not only pleasing to the eye, it sends a message. It says hey, I can grow hair on my upper lip and posses the fortitude and commitment necessary to maintain and display it for the world to see. I've been a huge fan of the mustache for many years now. I'm devoted to handlebars and have a certain fondness for Dali.

My affinity extends to the venerable mustache organizations like The Handlebar Club - raising the (handle)bar since 1947 - and the Svenska Mustaschklubben in Malmo. Through their information I have learned about the wonderful world of mustache accessories such as mustache snoods, curlers, wax and cups.

The mustache cup was invented in 1830 by Harvey Adams, a genius in his own right. The cup features a mustache guard, a ledge, shielding the delicate and pampered mustache from liquid. Genius! Ingenious! Since that time the mustache cup has had many incarnations, the latest being a modern mug. We had little need for the carefully crafted and elaborately decorated cups of old, but the mug is perfect for the gentleman on the go. I recently purchased one at the East Ohio St. Goodwill, and knew exactly who needed it.

I am, by nature, a giving person, and so I presented the mug to a neighbor named Colin. I can almost always find him at Buena Vista Coffee in the War Streets. He was delighted to recieve the mug, and I was happy to give it to him...but I was a bit saddened. I will never need a mustache mug, snood, curler or wax, because I will never have a mustache. It is perhaps the great tragedy of my life.

I said goodbye to the mug and drank my own coffee from a plain old cup, sitting outside the cafe and enjoying the weather. I have no mustache. I never will. But I have a great coffeeshop withing walking distance, strange and lovely neighbors, and a Goodwill that never fails to surprise me. For these things I am grateful.

Declaration.

It's time I finally came out with it and told you all the truth. I am in love. Yes, I am deeply, passionately, undeniably in love. The affair of a lifetime, the stuff films and books are made of. Naturally I want nothing more than to share this love, to shout it from the rooftops - I am in love with Pittsburgh!

We've been together for some time now, Pittsburgh and I. I'm not saying it has been easy - it hasn't. Oh, we've had rough patches like everyone else. At times I didn't think we would pull through, but here we are. Because every time things get stale or monotonous, something wonderful happens and I fall in love all over again.

And so, in celebration of my love for the beautiful city of champions, I will plaster these messages all over the internets in the hope that somewhere out there someone is reading them and loving Pittsburgh as much as I do.